Dear Sean,
Years ago, I thought that your first name, “Puff Daddy,” was a bit silly, but recently you’ve changed your name more times than J-Lo has changed her husband. I’d just like to say that no matter how many times you decide to change your celebrity image, I will always refer to you as “Puff Daddy” to remind you of how ridiculous that name is.
I understand if you wish never to speak to me again.
Your Friend,
Lauren
P.S. “P. Diddy” and “Diddy” are no better than “Puff Daddy”